top of page
SK Hero Image.png
Sand dunes in a desert
Integrating Our Mind and Body

What is Embodiment and Somatics

Somatic skills focus on developing the physical skills necessary to manage more effectively the physiological stress experienced during conflict situations.

 

Conflict is a common experience of our daily lives. 

 

Conflict situations often evoke a myriad of negative emotions such as fear, anger, distrust, sadness and jealousy.   These strong negative emotions are just as much physical as mental and are part of the Fight-or-Flight response.

 

Your breathing and heart rate rapidly increase. Your hands tremble as adrenaline shoots through your body. Your blood pressure rises. You sweat, becoming hot or cold and clammy.

 

Your primitive brain takes control, and you are definitely not at your best. Logic, reason, creativity and empathy are all sacrificed to adrenaline. Your ability to negotiate and improvise is lost until you can bring your physiology under control.

 

I’ve taught body awareness and self-regulation skills to hundreds of people - to enable them to operate effectively in high-pressure situations.

 

I can teach the same skills to you. With regular practice, you too can master these skills and take your performance to the next level.

BOOK A CALL
Ready to Get Where You Want to Go?

Client Testimonials

"I recommend Stephen Kotev as a personal coach."

Ron Thurston
Vice President of INTERMIX fashion and Author of Retail Pride
Sand dunes in a desert

"[Stephen’s] calming, intuitive, and honest coaching style created an experience for me that was life-changing. His listening and communication skills are indeed phenomenal, and Stephen's wide-ranging intellect and knowledge base are such that he connects with so many different types of personalities."

"Stephen is an amazing coach."

Steve Stave
Principal, Visualities
Sand dunes in a desert

"Stephen is an amazing coach. He is very warm and inviting, and incredibly easy to talk to. His use of noticing how I physically felt around certain discussion points was very helpful to me. He took his time to truly notice "where I was" at any given time during our sessions. I would recommend Stephen as a coach in a heartbeat."

"Stephen is safe, encouraging, motivational, dynamic and helps you implement sustainable change."

Monica Hudson
EEO Complaints Program Manager, National Institute of Standards and Technology (NIST)
Sand dunes in a desert

"If you aren’t willing to be direct and just want someone to fill in the blanks and tell you what to do – then he’s not for you. You better be willing to work hard. If you do, you will get your money’s worth.  Stephen is safe, encouraging, motivational, dynamic and helps you implement sustainable change."

“[Stephen’s] coaching transitioned me from post-traumatic stress.”

John DeRosa
Veteran of Iraq and Balkan wars, career national security professional and aspiring conflict resolution practitioner
Sand dunes in a desert

"From our very first meeting Stephen has been a readily accessible teacher tremendously committed to supporting his students in and out of the classroom. His versatile approach enables shaping of everyday moments into opportunities to deepen self-awareness and build vital skills. His coaching transitioned me from post-traumatic stress to reflective practitioner."

“I can highly recommend him to anyone who is looking for a presenter that will provide meaningful skills to practitioners in the conflict engagement field.”

Bryan Hanson
Assistant Director, The Werner Institute for Negotiation & Dispute Resolution
Sand dunes in a desert

"I am very pleased with the effort and thought that Stephen puts into his work. He recently provided a webinar for our website www.adrhub.com. This was a new format for him to deliver his material and Stephen showed a high level proficiency with the content of the presentation and comfort with the technology. I look forward to working with Stephen in the future and can highly recommend him to anyone who is looking for a presenter that will provide meaningful skills to practitioners in the conflict engagement field."

“Stephen’s expertise in the areas of body awareness, group facilitation and conflict resolution shone through in his very personable and interactive manner of training.”

Megan Johnston
Director of the Northern Virginia Mediation Service
Sand dunes in a desert

"Stephen led a dynamic training session for Northern Virginia Mediation Service in Fairfax, Virginia.  The audience included conflict resolution practitioners from highly diverse backgrounds.  Stephen was able to connect with each participant, adapting his techniques constantly to meet the needs of the group as well as those of individuals.  Stephen’s expertise in the areas of body awareness, group facilitation and conflict resolution shone through in his very personable and interactive manner of training.  I highly recommend Stephen Kotev as a speaker, trainer and consultant."

“Stephen’s work is high quality, and it is a pleasure to work with him.”

Omar Badawi
Senior Advisor for the Middle East and North Africa Division of the American Bar Association Rule of Law Initiative
Sand dunes in a desert

“Stephen gave several conflict analysis and resolution training workshops, and developed a course module on the subject for the American Bar Association Rule of Law Initiative. The workshops and module addressed cross-cultural conflict, tools for analyzing conflict and preparing for mediation. Stephen’s work is high quality, and it is a pleasure to work with him.”

“I learned so much...Thank you very much for your professional guidance.”

Marla K - Rankin
Human Resource Development, Strategic Advisor for US Marine Corps sharing her experience as a mentee mediator
Sand dunes in a desert

"What an awesome experience having you as my co-mediator.  I learned so much during those hours and can contribute new insight from the experience.  You have phenomenal skills and demonstrate neutral approaches that are especially a style that compliments Marine Corps culture.    I will always remember your demonstration.  I feel strongly that no other style would have such success with our initiator. Thank you for your patience and time.  When we concluded, you spent 9 1/2 hours in this process!  What a demonstration of commitment.  I hope our paths cross in the future and thank you very much for your professional guidance."

"AMAZING!"

George Mason University Conflict Resolution Undergraduate Student
Sand dunes in a desert

"You did a great job of pushing students out of the comfort zone while also respecting their boundaries"

SUPER PRACTICAL

George Mason University Conflict Resolution Undergraduate Student
Sand dunes in a desert

"Learned skills I will use for the rest of my life Hands on and lots of participation was fantastic and conducive to learning skills to help you regulate yourself in stressful situations."

Stephen with his hands out
Sand dunes in a desert
We Live In Our Bodies

All My Work Includes an Embodiment Component

Conflict is a common experience of our daily lives.

 

The Fight-or-Flight Response is preparation for running and escaping or fighting and surviving.

 

The problem is that the Fight-or-Flight response limits you to fighting or fleeing.  There are no shades of gray and no creative thinking about solutions to the conflict. No longer are you able to see the whole picture.

 

The body awareness and self-regulation skills I teach will help you overcome the flight or fight physiology and perform to your potential by focusing your breath, posture, and vision.

Listen to a podcast where I discuss embodiment
Paul Linden
A Long History​

My Exploration of Somatics Has Deep Roots

Paul Linden (pic at left), my primary embodiment teacher,  holds a Ph.D. in Physical Education from Ohio State University and is a sixth degree black belt in the Japanese martial art of Aikido.

 

Paul is a master somatic teacher who is sought after for his innovative approaches to addressing trauma and conflict.  

 

His approach is renowned for integrating the scientific method with Eastern Embodiment practices informed by his lifelong training in the martial arts.

The Start of Martial Arts Training

I started my foray into martial arts with Kempo karate in high school.  It was also in high school where I took my first mediation training courses.  This combined for me the practices of self-regulation and peacemaking through both the mind and body.

Studied with Paul Linden

I have been studying somatics/embodiment with my teacher and mentor Dr. Paul Linden for over twenty years and I am his senior student in peacemaking. I started studying with Paul in 1998 and spent 4 years with him learning Aikido and somatics.  I continue to learn from him to this day.

Master’s Research

As a result of my Master’s research, I developed a course entitled Somatic Skills for Conflict Resolvers that focuses on developing physical skills that enable conflict resolvers to manage more effectively the physiological stresses experienced by the resolver during conflict interventions. 

Awarded Brazilian Jiu Jitsu (BJJ) Purple Belt

I started BJJ in 2006 after earning my black belt in Aikido. I learned so much from Aikido and I wanted to test my skill in another art. Boy, did I learn a lot!  Aikido and BJJ are very different disciplines - and pushed my mind and body in distinct ways.

Teaching and Training on Somatics

I teach undergraduate and Master’s courses on Somatics in Conflict, and present workshops nationally and internationally that teach problem solvers how to improve their performance by learning to better manage the stress of conflict situations through the development of somatic (body) skills focused on breath, posture, and vision and the cultivation of self-awareness.

Completed EVRYMAN Foundations Training in 2019

I, along with 30 other men, were immersed in a 8-month deep dive into emotional leadership through Men’s Work.  I faced fears and really challenged myself to - in ways I seldom ever had. I left with a deep understanding of how emotions, embodiment and trauma show up in our everyday lives. 

Completed The Mythic Body in 2022

In 2022, completed The Mythic Body, a yearlong course of mythic study, somatic practice, storytelling, song, threshold exploration and nature immersion with The Emerald podcast’s Joshua Michael Schrei.

Somatic Abolitionism Study

Completed four years of study in somatic abolitionism focused on the work of Resmaa Menakem’s text, My Grandmother’s Hands: Racialized Trauma and the Pathway to Mending our Hearts and Bodies.

Completed Monsters in Love in 2024

In 2024, completed: Monsters in Love: a six-month somatic abolitionism intensive lead by Resmaa Menakem and focused on his text of the same name.

Participants engaging in a somatic skills training workshop, practicing awareness and body-based techniques
Workshops, Seminars and Training

How to Be Calm in the Midst of the Storm

Body awareness skills take practice.

 

I have created, designed and developed several undergraduate and graduate university courses for the Institute for Conflict Analysis and Resolution at George Mason University, including

  • Somatic Skills for Conflict Resolvers

  • Beyond Fight-or-Flight: Skills for High Stress Conflicts

  • The Body and Conflict: Advanced Somatic Skills and Exploration of How Physiology and Consciousness Influence Conflict

 

This cutting-edge material addresses gaps in existing mediation training and presents innovative solutions to longstanding challenges.

Practicing Embodiment in Conflict

Martial Arts Training

After receiving my black belt in Aikido, I wanted to test myself and deepen my knowledge of the martial arts.

 

Since learning Aikido had been so impactful as an embodied practice of peacemaking, I wanted to include another perspective.

 

Studying Brazilian Jiu Jitsu (BJJ) is one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life. There are no ‘pity’ ranks in BJJ. Either you can do it, or you can’t. No cutting corners and no easy way out. You are accountable for your actions, your failures and your successes.  You have to be willing to ‘invest in loss.’ 

 

Studying BJJ helped me add another dimension to my coaching and conflict resolution practice. It exposed me to a level of aggression and fear that I hadn't experienced before. It laid bare my flaws and pressure tested my skills. It deepens my understanding of the Fight-or-Flight response through personal experience.

 

I was exceedingly proud when I earned my purple belt in BJJ in early 2018.  On average, only 18% of those who start training in BJJ make it to purple belt.

evryman foundations logo
Another Place for Embodiment Skills

EVRYMAN Foundations Training 

EVRYMAN’s core work is to “...connect Men more deeply to their Loved Ones, their life’s work and themselves.”

 

I am an EVRYMAN facilitator and leader.

 

In going through the Foundations training, I became aware of old patterns, how they held me back and how to release them. I tested myself and my courage to be vulnerable, honest and open. I pushed hard to go deep and not take the easy way out. 

 

I faced fears and really challenged myself - in ways I seldom ever had. I feel stronger, more capable and left with a rich and nuanced understanding of emotion - because of this training.  

 

I bring this experience to my embodiment and coaching work.

sk-blocks-placeholder-05.jpg

Contact Me

Interested in working with me?
Have a question?
Send me a message, and I’ll get back to you.

Depositphotos_56513137_XL.jpg

Ready to discuss what might work for you and your team?

BOOK A CALL
bottom of page